Should we celebrate death anniversaries?
"Hi, is this Namit from Kagaz ke Phool?"
"Hey, it's my nanaji's 1st death anniversary. I just wanted to check if you have something for that occasion?"
"Hmmm, give me a while to think about what we can do for you. I'll get back to you."
I leaned back onto my chair and thought to myself- Who would call a death anniversary an occasion? It was weird that these two words were used together in a single sentence. And why would someone want to celebrate a death anniversary?
It is a silly thought. Or is it?
The loss of a loved one stays with us forever. No matter what you do, it is a spot on your body that you can't wash away. Over time, that spot becomes a part of your body, you notice it like you notice your eyes or ears. Momentarily passing over it, just to see if it is still there or not.
Though every year, one day takes us back to the moment we lost them. That day will come each year, it will scratch your spot, make it more painful than usual.
So, what can be done about that day? Bear the pain? Feel what we are supposed to feel?
I found the answer like this -
This client of mine tells me - celebrate it, celebrate the ones who are not with you. They are at peace, and you have those beautiful memories with you forever. Remember them. Remind each other to remember all of it.
And there they were - Kagaz Khat
I called her back, "We have something for you. We have made postcards with question prompters on your memories with your nanaji. You can give these cards to each family member.
The promoters will help them remember a story between them and nanaji. "
She tried it out.
At the end of the session, she had 15 special anecdotes about nanaji and her family. They read out their postcards before dinner, celebrating the man and his legacy. All the postcards we kept in a box. They were to be found on days when you miss him.
But reading them again, you won't remember that he is gone, you would realize that he was I
So should we celebrate death anniversaries?
The answer is up to you.